A Not-So-Shocking-Adventure: X marks the … Magneto?

adventureswithD-final (1)A: All right, Druid, where did you put him?

D: What? Put who, A?

A: You know who I’m talking about.

D: Alas, my ability to read your confounding mind is limited.

A: Well, since this week’s podcast, Episode X, is titled The Case of the Missing Magneto (go on, give it a listen. We can wait)…

D: What does that have to do with me?

Is Michael Fassbender the voice of D? Photo courtesy Google Images/USA Today
Is Michael Fassbender the voice of D? I’m certainly not going to argue. Photo courtesy Google Images/USA Today

A: I heard you, in the back of my head while I had my movie marathon. Every time Michael Fassbender showed up on screen, you whispered, “that one.”

D: And considering how many Fassbender movies you watched …

A: Hey now, that was research. After the first time I heard you, I had to make sure you were right.

D: And the verdict?

A: I think I might need to watch some more of his movies…

D: Sure you do, A. But let’s get back to this vicious accusation you’ve thrown at my head. Why would I steal Magneto – and who’s to say it would be Fassbender’s Magneto I would steal?

A: Actually, both would be splendid as you, but I suppose the accusation may have been wishful thinking?

D: Wishful thinking? You are a devious woman, A.

A: Thank you. You have to admit it might be preferable to trying to convince academy-recognized actors to narrate your story, while only taking a cut of the royalties on every audio book sold.

D: I admit nothing, A. My brilliance should be enough to capture their attention.

A: Uh huh. Right. Let me just work that into the proposal, yeah?

D: Make it so, A.

A: Um, wrong X-Man – and wrong series–

D: These are pointless details, A. In the meantime, everyone ought to run over to Green Embers Recommends for Episode 10 of the Not-So-Shocking News Dialogues.

A: Indeed – thanks for reading everyone!

Revealed: Legends of Windemere, The Compass Key

Debuting August 8th on Amazon Kindle!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Swords will clash and spells will fly in the newest adventure of young warrior Luke Callindor, Nyx the magic-flinging caster, and their friends.

With Sari captured by their enemies, the champions of Windemere are determined to get her back and destroy the Lich’s castle. Little do they realize, their battles in the Caster Swamp are only the beginning of this adventure. Trinity and her Chaos Elves have invaded the city of Gaia in search of a relic called the Compass Key. Rumored to be the key to rescuing Sari from a magical island, our heroes are in a race to find the mysterious relic.

Which side will claim the Compass Key? And, what will our heroes do when they’re faced with an enemy whose evil power overshadows anything they have ever faced?

About the Author:

Charles author photo B&WCharles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: Legends of Windemere
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz

Read the Previous Volumes of Legends of Windemere!!!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen (CLICK FOR AMAZON SITE)
Cover Art by Jason Pedersen (CLICK FOR AMAZON SITE)
Cover by Jason Pedersen
Cover by Jason Pedersen (CLICK FOR AMAZON SITE)
Cover Art by Jason Pedersen (CLICK FOR AMAZON SITE)
Cover Art by Jason Pedersen (CLICK FOR AMAZON SITE)
Cover Art by Jason Pedersen (CLICK FOR AMAZON SITE)
Cover Art by Jason Pedersen (CLICK FOR AMAZON SITE)

The Heresy of Before: Spirit Keeper, Part 1

So, weeks ago, Terrible Mind’s Chuck Wendig had this fantastic flash fiction prompt in which the participants were to pick two sub-genres (technically to be picked by a randomizer but bah! rules) and have up to 2k words-worth of fun with them. I picked “dystopian” and “cozy.” Because, how hard could that be, right?

I mean, I love dystopian stories and cozies (and not-so-cozy) mysteries. I read them all the time. I should be able to write that, right?

Hahahahahahha.

On the plus side, D has been giggling for three weeks straight. I’m so glad I can give the character in my head sufficient amusement while his books are in the editing and almost-released-but-not-yet stage.

Adding to my “how hard could this be?” madness, I decided the dystopian of choice would be my Heresy of Before world. That’s when it went from fun to holy cow, now I better make this good because the Heresy of Before is going to be something someday and I don’t want to litter it with, you know, crap.

Eventually, I got over myself, and cranked out a rough draft – of the first part, at least. I’m still working on the second part.

It took a while to get over myself.

While I’m not fully back in blog mode (I’ve really been loving summer vacation – I’m tan, and not in a blushing-lobster kind of way. It’s very exciting), I figured I would share what I have – one, to get feedback, and two, to give myself the impetus to finish the bloody thing. So, without further ado (and please forgive the formatting, or lack thereof, I’m doing this on my phone!), part one of Spirit Keeper, a Heresy of Before mystery.

***

image

Our village was a tiny blot, a splash of color on an otherwise muddied map – that is, if we had any maps. Papa Henry, the oldest in the village, said his parents had kept maps, but even if he knew where those maps had disappeared to, he no longer remembered how to read them. Even if he could find them, was there a reason to? The landmarks and lines those relics depicted no longer existed. They marked the boundaries of the world Before. Now, our boundaries were marked by sand and death.

Our village was a tiny blot, but it was a secret blot, a refuge from the wider world.

The concerns of Big City rarely reached us here except when its wild-eyed and starved refugees managed to make it past the wasteland. Those who outran the dreadnaughts and whose lungs survived the poison pumped into the air were welcome to our haven. So long as they left the concerns of Big City behind, that is.

Most did. Only one man – a man who had been born to lands beyond our village – kept Big City in his heart and soul, always. Of course, it was from him we learned to weed out those who would cause us grief. Samuel, though he lived with us for years, remained a mystery to many. He was rumored to be a prophet, a lost king, a savior – if anyone believed in such things anymore.

Whether or not he was any of these things mattered little; Samuel and his beautiful wife, Caroline had gone from us more than a year ago. They had gone back to Big City, and possibly beyond, to rescue the child who had been torn from them.

They had no map for the fight that was to come, and I envied them their determination. Their spirit. Though we lacked maps, we had never acted without thought, without great deliberation.

In our tiny village – a place our forebears named Protection – we had what Samuel called Town Hall Meetings. We called them the Debate. Once a month we gathered in the village center. All five hundred of us, from infant to elder, met at the well as the sun first kissed the sky, and talked – harangued – jawed – to resolve our differences.

If whatever was crawling up the spine of a villager wasn’t settled by the time the mountains swallowed the sun, then it would just have to be settled at the next Debate. And the rule was, there could be no hard feelings, no retribution, in-between times, either. It was my job to make sure that participants adhered to the rules – played nice, as Samuel would say.

I am no elder like Papa Henry, nor am I a refugee, or a prophet like Samuel. I was born to the world outside, born with lungs that knew clean air, and limbs that relished freedom. My name is Ellie, and I am what amounts to the law in our village.

It had come out at the last Debate that there were things missing. None of the disappearing items were anything serious – nothing ever deemed of use, anyway – but things nonetheless. They were Before things. Even out here, there is a sort of mythology around these forlorn bits of flotsam left over from Before, which has sprung up in the wake of the banning of its memory.

Outside Big City, we were free to remember Before, but not many did. These precious keepsakes, passed down from one generation to the next, are all that we have left.

We don’t talk about them, but they are cherished. We have no gods, nor idols. We do not worship bits of code and glittering gadgets like the technocrats in Big City, but neither do we pray to the Old Grey Ones for deliverance, as those who grub for their livelihood in the City’s hellish streets. Yet, for all our supposed godlessness, our Elders do sometimes speak of the spirit of all, which lingers in each heart.

These keepsakes are reminders – repositories even – for the sacred memory of the spirit of all, and someone has been stealing them.

Continued in Part 2 | Part 3

***

D: That’s it?

A: What? I told you it was only Part 1.

D: But . . . but that’s barely even an intro! A, how could you leave me hanging like this?

A: To whet your interest?

D: Bah! I bet you don’t even know who did it.

A: I do too know. I mapped it out before I started writing. I even made sure it was logical.

D: Aren’t you the one who gets lost crossing the street? That renders your map metaphor as laughable. Tell me, do you know how you’re going to get there from here?

A: Well . . . .

D: Good lord.

A: Hey, I managed to muddle through your time travel with at least half my brain intact – and a semblance of continuity. I should be able to navigate a dystopian mystery.

D: Eventually.

A: Exactly. Thus – segments.

D: And when will Part 2 debut?

A: Next week.

D: Fair enough. I shall have to wait with bated breath until then.

A: (Eye roll). Gee, thanks, D. And thank you all for reading and for your feedback – have a lovely day!

A Not-Shocking-Adventure: Striking Back

adventureswithD-final (1)D: Did I ever tell you about the time I avenged the death of my mentor by slicing his murderer in half?

A: Uh. . . I’m not sure. Is this a threat of some sort because I’ve been MIA from the blog?

D: No.

A: Good. In that case, no, I did not know that – but it sounds oddly familiar.

D: Or, how about the time I wasted romantically away in a French slum, mourning the loss of my lady-love?

A: Oh my god, you *would* attempt to waste away romantically.  And no, you didn’t tell me that, either. What is going on, D? And why do I have the faintest thought that I’ve heard all this before?

D: Then there was the time I was a young, rootless reporter, chasing after the story of a secret military program.

A: Okay, stop right there, Druid.

D: What?

A: I’m on to you. Those things do sound familiar, but you didn’t do them!

D: How do you know?

A: Because those are all Ewan McGregor movies. I knew you were going to get back at me for having a podcast without you (go on, click the link. D can wait).

D: Who says I wasn’t there, hm? (Go on, click the link for an Easter Egg. A can wait).

A: . . .

Is Ewan McGregor the Voice of D? He certainly has the accent for it! Photo credit: Yui Mok/PA Wire
Is Ewan McGregor the Voice of D? He certainly has the accent for it!
Photo credit: Yui Mok/PA Wire

D: I digress. Perhaps you are right, A, but did you consider that Ewan McGregor is really the perfect actor to voice me because he was already playing me for years, without knowing it?

A: . . . You and your time travel defy logic.

D: Perhaps for you, A. Admit it – before I ever became a prisoner of your mind, it is entirely possible that I could have been as awesome as the characters Ewan McGregor plays.

A: Prisoner of my mind, indeed.

D: I notice how you don’t deny it.

A: I have learned that contradicting you is pointless.

D: Indeed.

A: Did you know, now that the book is nearing publication (only 5 months to go! I should totally have a countdown on the blog–)

D: (You would need to be on the blog in order to have a countdown.)

A: (Killjoy.) Anyway, now that we’re nearing publication, we have to think audio books.

D: You mean I may truly get a voice?

A: Yes!

D: Have you contacted Mr. McGregor’s people, then?

A: No!

D: Oh.

A: Don’t look so dejected, D. I was thinking someone a little more local. A little more affordable, too. But you can, you know, keep on hoping. Maybe the stars will align and you’ll get the voice actor of your dreams.

D: Now you’re just humoring me.

A: Actually I was trying to provide a segue into a closing song, but humoring you works, too. Thanks for reading everyone, and enjoy the podcast, Episode 9: Rise of the Revengeance of the Fleshies Striking Back, over at Green Embers’ Recommends. And just in case you are wondering, yes you CAN subscribe to us on iTunes!!

Living Musically, Or The Son of Paleface Returns

D: The Son of Paleface is the return, A. I mean, even the song is a reprise.

A: I know, but there is the whisper of a ‘saying’ in my head, which escapes me – and may not even be real–

D: Go figure.

A: Cheers, D. Regardless, it either has to do with Paleface or the Return of the something – and no, not Jedi.

D: I wasn’t going to go with Jedi. That’s your nerdgasm, A.

A: And that is my Ewok song. *Ahem.* So, where did you hear that word?

D: I live your head. I can’t account for what I pick up.

A: Point taken.

D: So, what exactly is returning, may I ask?

A:  You may. What is returning is news. See, with the new compliance rules at work, I can’t visit blogs, but I can read them on my email. So, I’ve gleaned a fair bit of news that I haven’t been able to respond to, or even “like!”

D: This is painful for you, isn’t it?

A: It’s almost physical, that’s how difficult it is not to casually stroll by blogs. I’ve managed a workaround, which I only discovered this week —

D: She’s bright, folks, but she never claimed to be quick.

A: . . . (Teeth gritting) Thank you, D.

D: Anytime.

A: As I was saying, I can link titles to my Facebook page to show my appreciation, but really, it’s just easier to put all the articles I enjoyed into a blog post, like in the good old days.

D: The good old days? Like, when you used to write every day instead of being . . . Oh, I don’t know, what’s the word. . .?

A: Busy?

D: No.

A: Mom?

D: No . . . oh wait, I have it: a bloody social butterfly. Who are you and what have you done with my A?? I want my writer back.

A: Your writer is still here, D. She just went through a bout of creative burnout. Being moderately social is my cure. There is only so much inspiration I can find within my four walls.

D: So, being ridiculous at a painting bar helps you write?

A: You better believe it, D.

News

A: First, stroll by Green Embers Recommends for Part 2 in my Battlestar Galactica review.  AND check it out, the Not-So-Shocking-News Dialogues are now on iTunes!! You can actually subscribe! Because Green is awesome.

D: That’s not even in the original Battlestar Series.

A: No, but it is in The Plan – in fact, it is the best part of The Plan.

D: Good point. Next, check out Terrible Mind’s writerly prompt (and I hear A might actually participate – stay tuned).

A: And last week, at Legends of Windemere, Charles discussed wedded bliss – or lack thereof – in fiction. The wedding palace was particularly funny–

D: And this week he’s debuting a series of villain teasers from the world of Windemere – head on over and check it out

A: There’s a challenge a-brewing. A book review challenge series, hosted by the lovely Rosie Amber, which started today! Check out the first post, How I Write a Book Review.

D: And in “Making Monday’s Fun” News, John and Marie have a lovely “Top 10 What Not To Do” involving the camera. A should take notes.

A: Cheers, D. Last week, Jack Flacco posted a great article – and he’s right: 1999 was one of the best years in film, although I do disagree with Phantom Menace. Sure, it made a lot of money, but . . . but . . . sigh. To answer his question, The Mummy, Sleepy Hollow, The Bone Collector, Lock Stock and the Matrix stick in my memory.

D: In case you missed it, that delightful dilettante and mistress of prose, Helena Hann-Basquiat bade us a (temporary) farewell with the raw, moving epistle: Leaving Arcadia. Start reading it here. In her absence, her creepy alter-ego Jessica B. Bell is now in charge of the blog.

A: There’s a new site in town, Good People Doing Great Things, and they need YOUR help. While you’re there, check out Marie Ann Bailey’s guest post: A Random Act of Kindness.

D: So, A and I aren’t the only ‘characters’ of the literary (and I use that term loosely) to make an art form of talking to themselves. Ionia Martin, of Readful Things is extending a fabulous interview opportunity to all the writers out there with Mirror Interviews. First up? John Howell (writer, not historian)!

A: And finally, she had me at space pirates . . . check out JS Collyer’s promotional goodies for her marketing crowd-funding campaign. From the looks of it, the campaign has been successful in less than three days – that is spectacular!

D: Speaking of pirates . . .

A: That is my very favorite one (sigh). Hope you all have enjoyed our Living (movie) Musically News Spectacular. Thank you all for reading and have a great day.

A Not-So-Shocking Adventure: Tin Hats Unite

adventureswithD-final (1)A: I cannot believe you.

D: What?

A: You know what. How—why—ugh!

D: Now, you remember what you used to say to The Boy when he was small – lets use our words, A.

A: Oh, don’t get all smart with me, Druid. How could you hijack the podcast!?

D: Hijack? Hardly, A. I merely found the means and the method to add to it my brilliance.

A: Brilliance? That’s what we’re calling it?

D: What else could we call it?

A: Well, I have a few words but I’m not so certain they’re fit for the interwebs.

D: Well, why don’t we let the people decide, hm? They should go check out the podcast, should they not, A?

A: (Eye roll) Yes, fine. I suppose this means you don’t need a voice actor anymore?

D: What? With you planning an audio version of the book? Certainly I need a voice actor, A. That mechanical voice is all fine and good for now, but I have my sights on bigger things. Much bigger.

A: I’m afraid to ask.

D: Don’t be. I think my choice this week will alleviate all your fears.

A: . . . and that choice is?

david tennant
Is this the voice of D? Well, he did *play* a Time Lord…

D: David Tennant.

A: Oh, now you’re just sucking up.

D: A little honey never hurts when making a request, A.

A: Yeah, while you sit there, waiting . . .  just like a spider!

D: I said David Tennant, not Clark Gable. Although . . .

A: He’s dead, D.

D: I’m a time-traveler, A.

A: (Sigh) And the realm of possibilities just got that much larger. Oh boy.

D: Indeed – go on everyone, enjoy Episode 8: Entering the Robot Apocalypse, featuring yours truly.

A:  Yes, go on (as if his head weren’t big enough!) Thanks for reading, and for listening!

Lions and Tigers and Cylons, oh my!

First of all, Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads, Grandpas, Great-Grandpas, Moms-who-are-Dads, Step-Dads, Partners in Crime and all-around fabulous people who take the time to serve as a role-model and guiding hand in any child’s life. You make the world a better place.

Second, take a trip to outer space and check out my review of the Battlestar Galactica TV Miniseries (2003) at Green Embers Recommends!

adventureswithD-final (1)

Birthdays, Beads, Boys and … Books?

D: What is that?

A: What?

beadD: *That!*

A: Oh, that was my badge for the Bead Show.

D: And that-that sparkly thing?

A: That’s the badge holder and lanyard. Gotta have bling on the show floor, D. Gotta represent.

D: You are ridiculous. Do you even know what you’re saying?

A: No, not really.

D: (Sigh) So. That’s where you were. I see.

A: Don’t go tapping your foot at me, Druid. I have been hard at work. And working some more. And then adding a little work to my work for giggles.

D: Uh huh.

A: (Eye roll). Okay, so I had some adjusting to do. It’s not easy to get used to new, incredibly limited, internet access rules (thank you internet hackers for being bastards and making them necessary) at work and readjusting how I approach social media during the day. Currently, it’s nonexistent–

D: Except for the weekends when you clutter your media accounts with the ridiculous—

https://twitter.com/ktirsh/status/475438181815713792

A: And harrowing!

D: Saga of your not-so-red hair.

https://twitter.com/ktirsh/status/475721167995564032

A: Oh, come on – the hair saga was hilarious.

Me and the boy dressed for the voodoo-zombie-mexican sugar scull birthday party from the bayou. My friends are awesome.
The Boy and me, dressed for the voodoo-zombie-mexican sugar scull birthday party from the bayou. My friends are awesome.

D: . . . And yet, does it involve writing? Or even editing?

A: I’m getting there. Follow the narrative, D – it’s not all about you.

D: (Snort)

A: Charming. Besides work, there have been birthday parties and sunshine—

D: I thought that was sunburn—

A: . . . There have been birthday parties and sunshine. I’ve been spending time with the bride to my honorette, not to mention driving The Boy hither and yon for school concerts (The Boy is the one on drums):

And plays (check out this wonderful review of Godspell – I could not have said it better myself!) and rehearsals for a fabulous student improv comedy show this summer. I’ve even (gasp) gotten involved in my community.

The Boy after Godspell's opening night. He still misses it, he tells me, and considering how spectacular it was, I don't blame him.
The Boy after Godspell’s opening night. He still misses it, he tells me, and considering how spectacular it was, I don’t blame him.

D: Oh, is that all?

A: . . . .

D: Did you know your face turns a delightful shade of puce when you’re angry?

A: (Mutter, grumble, curse).

D: Now, now, A – I don’t even think they make crowbars large enough to do that anyway.

A: You are in a ridiculously good mood.

D: Of course I am. I know the news you’re going to announce at the end of this post. This is my benevolently forbearing face.

A: . . . I think I need to lock you up at night – there is no way I use those words, in that order, or together that way.

D: No, but your friends do.

A: This is the price I pay for being social.

D: Obviously you have two choices – stay home with me rattling around in your head, and allow my language to atrophy to its archaic forms, or be social and encourage the twenty-first century education of this timeless druid.

A: Tough choices.

D: Indeed.

A: Of course, there is a third option.

D: A third option, A? You don’t mean—

A: I do, mean, D. I mean that I could just embrace you, in your archaic, enfuriating, timeless druidic self and release your books into the world, starting with Changelings: Into the Mist in November 2014.

No, this is not the final art of anything. Its just a quick thing I did and something I'm sure my cover artist is going to yell at me for.
No, this is not the final art of anything. It’s just a quick something I did, for which I’m almost certain my cover artist will yell at me.

D: Huzzah!

A: I thought that might help ameliorate my bookish inactivity of late.

D: You can be as busy as you please, Miss A, and get as sunburned as you like, so long as there are release dates and plans aplenty for your – nay, my – books.

A: Thanks . . .  I think. And thank you to all of you for your encouragement and readership as I’ve made my way through this journey. I’m very excited to have a release date and the faintest outlines of a plan – but I know I couldn’t have done it without this blog and the people I’ve met here. Cheers to you!

A Not-So-Shocking Adventure: Rhyme and Neeson

adventureswithD-final (1)A: What is that on your head?

D: Don’t you like my mane?

A: . . .

D: I wanted to see how I would look as a lion. After all, the majestic ruler of the Animal Kingdom and I share similar qualities.

A: No. No one is as #Majestic as this man.

D: No, A. I refuse to allow you to convince me that a dwarf can be my voice.

A: Why not? He has your forbidding glare. And besides, he’s not a dwa—

D: No. I want Liam Neeson.

A: (Sigh) The lion’s mane. Seriously? You think the man who was essentially Jesus could be your voice?

This man has been the voice of God, a Jedi, and a revolutionary... could he be D, too?
This man has been the voice of Jesus (as a lion), a Jedi, and a revolutionary… could he be D, too?

D: He was also assassinated as Michael Collins, but I’m not going to hold that against him.

A: (Eye roll) I’m sure he appreciates your forbearance.

D: Admit it A, you can’t find fault with this choice. He’s perfect.

A: . . . I do believe Green and I have created a monster. Thank heavens our podcasts are so much fun (even if I fail at picking titles! Episode 7: Untitled is fab, and you should go listen. Don’t worry, we’ll wait).

D: If by fun, you mean ridiculous.

A: Actually, I usually do mean ridiculous.

D: I knew—

A: And that’s why they’re awesome! Go on, everyone. Check out the podcast and the show notes over at Green Embers Recommends. And while you’re there, check out the other great reviews by Green, Phoebe and Roxie!

THE HOPETELLER IS NOW AVAILABLE!

Get your copy of Charles Yallowitz’s latest novella, The Hopeteller – a post-apocalyptic fairy tale that frankly, sounds fantastic!

Charles Yallowitz's avatarLegends of Windemere

The Hopeteller (Cover by Tracy Carrig) The Hopeteller (Cover by Tracy Carrig)

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON KINDLE FOR $1.25!

Book Blurb:

Humanity has been driven into the wilderness by the ‘Invaders’. They have been forced to live as colonies in the wilderness where survival is a daily struggle. Hope becomes harder and harder to hold onto as the years pass.

Then one day, a young man tells a story to an injured friend and the Hopeteller is born. Unsure of the power of his words, he finds himself moving the colony with his fairy tales. He will see his people through death and fear as they continue to fight for survival.

Enjoy this novella that is half post-apocalyptic journal and half fairy tales.

Perfect for a quick & entertaining read!

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